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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Before I was a mom...

I am not a writer, but I would like to honour my mom this mother's day with an open letter to let her know just how much I appreciate everything she does and is still doing in my life...

Before I was a mom...

Before I was a mom, it was easy for me to judge other mom. I will not let my kids do these, and you won’t see my kids act like that. Yes, it was easy to judge, even my own mom but now that I am a mom. I finally realized how much I don’t know about how hard it was to be in your shoes…

* November, 2006
It was hard for me to imagine 
that I will be going to Canada soon and be far from you :'(

Before I was a mom, I thought that you were too much of a worrier. I thought that I knew it all and that you meant well but you were just a bit paranoid of everything around. Now, I realize just how much being a mom meant that you never think just for yourself, you decide things thinking about everyone around you and thinking of yourself last.  Yes, I am a bit paranoid too, now that I am also a mom and I can definitely say that motherhood has kept me up a lot of nights worrying about things that might happen years from now. Thank you for all the times that you actually came to fetch me during those late nights with dad in tow, I never considered that you might be tired, after a long days work and all the things in between work and home. I was selfish and I realized now just how much sacrifice you did, how you and dad had to get up from your beds, resting and having to come to me just to make sure that I don’t take the public transportation because I am that important to you. I also remember when I had a rift with my best friend you never underestimated our fight and my feelings even when it was something of a kid’s issue. I remember you went with me to her house for the “talk”, I really appreciate that. You showed me with that action that my feelings does matter and that no matter how silly it looks, you’d be there with me up until the end. Thank you for showing me my worth with those simple acts, I now carry with me the confidence of my self worth and no one can pull me down because of it.

* December 2007
Mom and Kimi
Sleepless Nights helping me out with Kimi...Thank You!

Before I was a mom, I would go with you to your nights out thinking that my mom sure knows how to have fun while daddy just enjoys home. I thought it was just an extra but now that I myself am a mom, I realize how important those nights outs are. It actually kept me sane. Thank you for teaching me balance. That yes, life do suck sometimes, but you can’t control what life throws at you, BUT, you can control how you react to it. I know how to deal with difficulties because of you. There is strength in all of us.

* December 2007
Mom and Kimi
Proud Grandmama

Before I was a mom, I thought how much different you treat each of us. We are all your kids and I would wonder at the back of my head, why you treat one of us like that, while the other, another way. Now that I have two of my own, I know it is hard to treat them the same. It is not because you love one more than the other, but because we are all individuals and each has to be treated differently because each of us has different needs. You know our needs more than us and I can tell you that you did right by all of us.

* August 2008
Me and Kimi
I am now far from you, I miss you all in the Philippines

Before I was a mom, I would feel bad when I see you and dad argue. I would think that, next time I wouldn’t be like that when I do get married. It was easier said than done. I am just grateful to both of you that despite the huge difference in your views, you have shown us that we do argue, but we are all in the same team. No one will walk out and in the end we are a family. Thank you for that security and because of that I grew up with a positive view of family despite all the negatives I have seen in other families around us. I learned a lot from seeing you both work through your differences and because of that I know that when you argue it means you are trying to work thing out because you care for each other.

* May 2009
Mom with Kenzo and Kimi
This is the first time you met Kenzo

Before I was a mom, I thought that you were too nice and I will not let anybody get away if they cross the line. Now, I realize that you were right once again. You don’t need to win every single time because not all battles are worth winning. There are a lot of things and feeling considered and being nice doesn’t mean you are weak. It just means that you are the better person. You have shown me that doing right is better than getting ahead. I know that it is rare in this world thank you for living the example.

* March 2011
Four Generations
I was finally able to go home for a visit

I know that there is no such thing as a perfect mom and I am sure that you sometimes doubt if you ever did a good job. I am here to tell you that you did more than a good job. If I were to end up half of the mom you are, I will be a proud mother to Kimi and Kenzo. Thank you for being the selfless mom that you are and I want to tell you that I appreciate it a lot. We love you.

** The only thing better than having you for a MOM
is my children having you for a Grandma. **

Just my sentiment. Enough Said.


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